Thank you very
much, Sophie, for hosting me today. It’s the fourth stop of my blog tour for my
book Avalanche. As usual, I will
start with a short blurb to introduce my book to those who are joining us for
the first time and then I will move on to today’s topic.
Blurb for Avalanche
This is a novel
about friendship, maybe in its unusual, extreme form. The two main characters,
Mike and Nick, meet in the Alps on a scientific expedition. They become very
close, but struggle to place their relationship in the context of their lives.
They fear that the bond between them will not survive outside their research
hut, and that the outside world will present challenges impossible to overcome.
But then a tragic accident changes their lives forever... This story is an
investigation into the nature of ties between people, the limits of loyalty and
the power of conventions.
A Quest for Emotional Maturity
Today I will
consider whether or not the ability to love, the ability to forge a strong
connection with a fellow human being is something we are born with, or rather
something we have to learn and nourish. First of all let us define emotional immaturity, and not in abstract
terms, but in two examples.
If you are ill, or
have other problems in your life, and your partner is seriously concerned over
it, what do you feel about it? Do you cheer it, because it shows that he/she
cares? Are you anxious because he/she is troubled? The first one is usually a
sign of emotional immaturity, because in effect your partner’s anguish makes
you happy. What you’re doing here is using your partner’s emotions as means to
your emotional ends, which can never be a good thing in a relationship.
When you are
emotionally involved with someone, you do your best to keep this person in your
life. Have you ever found yourself taking positive steps towards it,
particularly at early stages of a relationship, when nothing’s set in stone yet?
Steps like accompanying this person whenever you can, just to stay together, or
trying to please this person by doing things you believe he or she likes. When
you do things like these, what is your motivation behind it? In the vast
majority of cases we’re driven by the fear to be hurt. We know that a break-up
will cause us pain and we’re doing our best to cling on. The bottom line is that
all such actions are self-serving. None of it is actually done to accommodate
your loved one’s emotional needs. In fact, when we’re obsessed with someone we
rarely consider his or her conveniences or fears. We just come and take and we
call it love. Caring about your own pain alone in a relationship is usually a
sign of emotional immaturity and one of the reasons why relationships break up
in the first place.
This is exactly
the mental state my characters are in in the first part of the book. They act
out of fear to be hurt, rarely considering the impact their actions will have
on the other party in the relationship. All their respective decisions are
aimed at minimising their own pain, and by doing so they inevitably inflict
pain on each other.
Nick’s and Mike’s
spell in Chamonix ends in disaster for both of them and both end up in
hospital, Mike - with heart problems; Nick - with a broken leg. But when in
Mike’s case a simple surgical procedure solves the problem, Nick is rendered
incapacitated for months to come. It puts an enormous strain on their
relationship. Mike is torn between his duties to his family and his duties to
Nick. Caught in a whirl that is his London life, Mike eventually comes to
realise that he craves Nick’s company only in those rare moments when the fear
to lose Nick gets hold of him. Despite all the practical help Mike provides
Nick with, Nick feels used. In this state of impaired mobility Nick experiences
everything in a more acute form. Eventually he decides that he’s suffered
enough and opts to part ways with Mike, believing that their break-up can give
him a long-welcome relief. This break-up leaves Mike in an absolute mess that
gradually drives him to a psychological deadlock he cannot come out of.
When they meet
again and reconcile they tread very carefully, doing their best not to repeat
their past mistakes. It is in this state of emotional maturity that they are
able to start building their relationship. The roller-coaster they had to go
through no longer seems to be idle sufferings, but challenges they had to
overcome in order to grow emotionally.
***
Avalanche is
available on Amazon US at $2.90 - http://www.amazon.com/Avalanche-Xena-Semikina-ebook/dp/B00J2XS6FC;
and on Amazon UK at £1.81 http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00J2XS6FC. ePub
is available at the Apple store and Kobo at £1.99 and the equivalent in $
(sorry, don’t know the exact price as I have never caught a glimpse of the US
respective stores).
Blog tour stops for Avalanche
1) 20 November
2014 Lane Hayes https://lanehayes.wordpress.com/blog/
2) 22 November
2014 Kim Fielding http://www.kfieldingwrites.com/category/blog/
3) 24 November
2014 Anne Barwell http://annebarwell.wordpress.com/
4) 26 November
2014 Sophie Bonaste http://sophiebonaste.blogspot.co.uk/
5) 28 November
2014 Shae Connor http://shaeconnorwrites.com
About Xena
Semikina
Xena is a novelist
and a lawyer in criminal practice, with a distant background in computer
science. Writing has always been her passion, which she has been pursuing actively
for well over a decade. She has written four novels and has published one,
entitled Avalanche. She lives in
London with occasional trips to the South of France and the North of Russia.
Xena can be found
on Twitter at Xena5000 and Facebook as Xena Semikina. Her blog can be found
here: http://xenasemikina.wordpress.com/
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