This is the first short story that I ever wrote for publication. Please note that this story has a plot line involving the marriage of two men and is rated MATURE for sexual situations. If either of these things bother you or if you are under the age of 18, then please hit back now. Otherwise, enjoy!
Building a Family in Love
For as long as he could remember, Johnny Treston had always wanted a baby. Even when he was just a child himself, he had thought about marrying a gorgeous woman, living in beautiful house with at least three children in residence. Then Johnny hit adolescence and realized his love for men, not women. Even that did not change the picture in his head of a family with plenty of little ones. Eventually through the beginnings of adulthood, the intense desire to have a child diminished as he focused on getting through school and finding a job, but he never lost sight what he saw as his biggest life goal. Then he met Darren Nappier.
Darren never wanted children. He was what one could call a man’s man. A former professional hockey player, he worked in sports management and was constantly around jocks. Darren loved being able to hang out with the guys and make impulsive decisions without worrying about a child wearing him down. The fact that he had absolutely no experience with children did not help the situation either.
Johnny should have called off the relationship right after the second date when he learned about Darren’s dislike of children, but there was something about the man that was irresistible. The two kept dating and fell deeper and deeper in love. About a year into their relationship Darren asked for his hand in marriage and Johnny could only reply in the affirmative.
Everything was fabulous for the first few years of their marriage. They both had jobs that they loved and they had bought their dream house together, a small two-floor, three bedroom dwelling with a decent-sized yard, enclosed by a white picket fence. The so-called honeymoon phase between them lasted three solid years. They almost never fought and were able to work out any issues that arose with little difficulty. The two loved each other and knew that they could not live without the other.
Then the honeymoon phase slowly started to come to an end as Johnny’s need for children came rushing back. He had all of the means to raise a child now: money, a house with a yard, stability and someone to raise a child with. The what-ifs started to fill his mind. Slowly, he started to resent his husband for not sharing his views on life. Arguments became more heated and more frequent. Darren had even been forced into the guest room on a few nights, when Johnny could not stand the sight of him. Even when the two were not fighting, there was always a tension in the air, both seemingly waiting for when the next argument would start. They stopped talking about anything important and their sex life was non-existent. Johnny knew that he had started them on this road to self-destruction, but he felt helpless to change his thinking.
Even as Johnny was cooking dinner on the eve of his forth wedding anniversary, the thoughts of children did not leave his mind. He imagined what the children he should have would be doing right down. Would the little girl be helping him cook, while his sons played with Legos in the adjoining living room? Would he have a toddler happily banging pots together on the floor or a baby eating cereal in a high chair? They consumed him and prevented him from being truly happy with just his husband.
“Honey, I’m home,” called Darren as he closed the front door behind him.
His thoughts thoroughly interrupted, he called to his husband and welcomed him back from work.
“Hey, babe,” Darren said as he walked into the kitchen. “What’s for dinner?”
Johnny just smiled as he looked at his husband. Darren was always so good looking, especially compared to him. Johnny had always considered himself kind of scrawny looking, with black hair that never seemed to lay right with brown eyes hidden behind thick glasses. Darren, on the other hand was a stud, with perfect brown hair and muscles that only an athlete could have. Even after suffering a career ending knee injury, Darren retained the muscles of a hockey player. Johnny thought that he was the most perfect-looking man in the whole world. “Pork chops with some baked potatoes and glazed carrots on the side.”
“Sounds good. How was your day?”
“Good. The assembly went really well, I think that the kids might have actually gotten something out of it. I had only one parent call me and threaten to sue and three teacher complaints. It was so quiet that I actually got some of my own work done.”
“The work of an assistant principal is never done is it?”
“Nope. How was your day?”
“Boring, same as yours. I have to go get changed. When is dinner going to be ready?”
“Give me about ten minutes.”
“Okay.” Darren gave him a kiss on the check before going up to their bedroom. Johnny watched him go and sighed. There would have been a time when Darren and Johnny did not make small talk. After being apart for the whole day, the two of them could not stand in the same room without ripping each other’s clothes off and showing each other exactly how much they missed each other. Dinner ended up burned on more than one occasion. But the distance that was separating them was too much now.
Johnny finished supper and soon the two were at the table enjoying a good meal. They sat in silence for a time before Darren spoke up, clearly trying to break the awkwardness.
“So our anniversary is tomorrow.”
“Yeah, I know. You made the reservation right?”
“Actually, I was thinking about having dinner here.”
“WHAT?! You were not even going to ask me what I thought? We have had our anniversary dinner planned for two weeks and now all of a sudden you go and make changes without consulting me? What the hell were you thinking?!”
“Johnny. Johnny calm down. I am sorry, okay.”
Johnny just sighed. “Darren, I am sorry, too. I never should have blown up at you like that.”
“What happened to us? We never used to fight about anything. Now it seems like we have to walk on eggshells around each other. I know that we have had some problems lately with trying to decide what to do with the rest of our lives, but I am tired of fighting with you.”
“I…I don’t want to fight either, hon. I love you so much and I never want to be with anyone else. But I guess, I just never thought that my life would be this way.”
Johnny tried to answer, but something just kept catching in his throat. He would never do anything to lose Darren and the thought of having kids would surely piss off his husband. Instead, Johnny just pushed his own needs down and shrugged, suddenly finding his half-eaten dinner very fascinating.
“Are you done eating,” Darren asked. Johnny just nodded, knowing that no matter how hungry he had been twenty minutes ago he was not to be able to eat another bite. Darren just stood up and held out his hand, which Johnny took without a second thought.
Darren did not let go of his love’s hand until they were in their bedroom. Giving him a gentle kiss, he started to strip his husband of his clothes.
Johnny could not believe that his husband wanted to have sex now. Sure, the tension had drained, but there were still a lot of unresolved issues and Johnny did not think that he would be able to get it up if he wanted to. He sighed. “Darren. As much as I love you, I really don’t want to have sex right now.”
“Neither do I, silly. I just want to hold you in our bed, skin to skin. I miss feeling close to you. Can we just do that?”
Johnny just smiled and nodded. He should have trusted that his man would know him well enough to know where his head was. Darren stripped down to his boxers and they both climbed into their king-sized bed. He laid his head on his husband’s muscled chest, listening to the strong heart beat. Darren’s arms closed around his lithe body and Johnny melted into his man. This was the only time in his whole life that he had ever felt truly safe. Being wrapped in his lover’s arms made him feel that there was nothing in the whole world that could hurt him. He had never understood what Darren had seen in him, a nerdy-looking grad student studying to get his Master’s in Elementary Education. But it was times like this when he was really glad that Darren had found him.
“You never answered my question,” Darren said quietly, breaking into Johnny’s tranquility.
“What question was that?”
“What way did you think that your life would go?”
A soft groan passed through Johnny’s lips. “Darren, baby. Does it really matter? I have you. Anything that I could have envisioned is nothing compared to the life that I have with you now.”
“That was good, babe. You should go write cards for Hallmark.”
“But it is true.”
“No, it isn’t. You want to believe that it is true, but we both know that there is something that you need. And it is big enough that it is ripping us apart. Whether you mean it to or not, there is something that is eating you up inside. You never talk to me anymore, we don’t make love like we used to and you keep getting lost in daydream after daydream. That is not the person that I married. We used to be able to talk about anything. But now, you are shut off from me and I want to know why. Is there someone else?”
Johnny sat up like a shot. “No! How could you possibly think that there is someone else? There has never been anyone, but you. You have always been the only one that I ever needed.”
“Because…you…you will not like what I want. I know that you don’t want it and I would rather put aside whatever dreams I have so long as I can have you.”
“But, Johnny babe, don’t you see that it is this dream that is keeping me away from you. This silence is going to be the end of us. What is your dream?”
“I want a baby! I have always wanted children. I know that I have my kids at the school, but I want children of my own. I want a child that I can tuck into bed at night, a child that I can teach things to. And I want that with you.”
“I know. You don’t want kids. You have never wanted kids. I knew that when I married you I was putting that dream aside. And I did it happily because I had you. But we have been together for five years and married for four. We bought this awesome house together that I adore. I love you and my life with you. But for some reason for the last six months I can’t stop thinking about that what ifs. What if we took the guest bedroom and converted it for a child? What if we had a little girl running around? What if we had a son that you could teach hockey to? We have so much to offer a child and I want that. More than anything, I want children in this house. But as much as I want it, I would never give up you. I don’t expect you to feel the same way or to suddenly change your mind about the whole subject, but since you asked…”
“Honey. I just…I knew that when we first starting dating you wanted kids, but you hadn’t mentioned it in so long that I thought you changed your mind.”
“When I found out that you did not want kids, I kind of did. But I can’t anymore,” Johnny ended, starting to choke up on tears.
“Johnny, love, please don’t cry. I am not good with crying, you know that.”
Darren’s husband just smiled through the tears. “I know, baby. And I am sorry. I did not mean to force this on you. I know that this is not what you want and I promise that I will do anything to make things between us right again. Can you...can you just hold me, please?”
Darren nodded and tugged his man down to lie on his chest again. Johnny instantly cuddled up to his side and breathed a deep sigh. They did not speak again, just reveling in each other’s presence, each wondering how they could possibly get past this.
That night, Darren woke up, feeling a cold breeze on his chest. Looking around he found that he was alone in the big bed. Confused as to why, Darren dragged himself out of bed. He checked the bathroom and then the entire downstairs, but he could not seem to find his husband.
On his way back to their bed, he spotted a soft light coming from the guest room that was to the right of their master bedroom. Curious as to why his husband would be in there after they settled on a tenuous peace, Darren crept farther down the hall and saw that the door was slightly ajar. He gently pushed the door open a little more and peeked around the frame. Johnny was seated on the floor, looking lost in his own thoughts. A hitch of breath told Darren that his husband was crying. Darren just wanted to run in the room and wrap his arms around his man, but something stopped him. Going back into the hall, Darren thought about what his man had said earlier that night in bed. In his dreams, this was not a guest bedroom, but a child’s bedroom. Their child’s bedroom.
It was true that Darren had never really wanted children. He had always loathed watching his younger cousins and having to put up with all of their antics. Darren would never understand how Johnny could put up with more than 400 students everyday at his job. But his husband loved them. He called them all his children. When Johnny was still teaching, he had spoiled them all rotten, getting them prizes for good work and making sure that every child felt loved. Now that he had moved on to working in administration he spent less on prizes, because there was no way to give prizes to that many children almost every day without going bankrupt, but he still tried to keep his door open to every child that needed him.
Darren knew that this day was probably coming. He had fallen so in love with Johnny that the idea of children never seemed to matter. But now, listening to his husband crying over the child he thought he would never have, Darren knew that he was going to have to do something. Johnny had said that he gave up the idea of children because his husband did not like them. Couldn’t Darren make the same sacrifice? Do something as big as this, just to make his husband happy?
Slowly creeping away from the guest bedroom, Darren started to think about how he was going to make this right.
Johnny woke up the next morning to the blare of his alarm clock. He groaned and shut off the offending device before rolling out of bed. He looked behind him to see if the alarm had woken his husband and was surprised to see that he was not there. Darren did not have to get up for at least another hour and a half. The most Johnny got out of Darren at this hour of the day was a sleepy kiss and a ‘have a good day’. So where was he?
Throwing on a robe, Johnny went downstairs. As he reached the landing of the stairs, he heard the sound of Darren’s rock music playing on the stereo at a low volume. Johnny walked into their kitchen and was surprised to find his husband making what looked like an elaborate Sunday morning breakfast. Darren was generally useless in the kitchen, but the one thing that he could do was make a fantastic breakfast. Once a week, Darren would cook up some fantastic array of French toast, eggs, bacon and other goodies. The only weird thing was that it was Friday, a work day for both of them. Neither one of them ever did anything like this on a work day.
His husband spun around and a huge grin formed on his face. “Baby, you’re up! I was going to bring you breakfast in bed, but it took me a little longer to get out of bed than I anticipated. Grab a seat, it will be ready soon.”
“Darren, why are you doing this? I didn’t sleep through Friday, right?”
“No, silly. It is Friday morning, but it is also a very important day.”
Johnny felt a smile creep onto his face as his sleep-addled mind remembered the date. “It is our anniversary.”
“Yep,” Darren said, as he came over to his husband, giving him a soft kiss and a hug. “Happy Anniversary, Johnny.”
“Happy Anniversary, Darren. I love you.”
“I love you too. Can you believe that we have been married for four years now?”
A chuckle escaped from Johnny. “No. It does not seem like it could possibly be that long. But at the same time, I know that I am going to spend the rest of my life with you and when you consider how long that it going to be, four years seems like nothing.”
The two of them just held each close for a time, reveling in the love that they had. It may not have been easy for the two of them in these last few months, but they still loved each other and never wanted to be apart from the other.
“Shh. You are ruining the moment.”
“But, babe, I think our breakfast is burning.”
“Shit,” Darren yelled as he spun around to attend to the bacon that was spewing black smoke into the air. Johnny could not help but laugh as he watched Darren run around trying to prevent the kitchen from burning down. Johnny knew that he should probably help, but the picture that his frantic husband made was too funny to walk away from.
“You could be helping me, you know.”
“Yeah, but you told me to go sit down. So I am going to do your bidding and make myself comfortable.”
“Just get over here before everything burns.”
Johnny just laughed and got to work, starting to take non-burning food off the heat, leaving Darren to handle the blackened bacon. Between the two of them, they managed to serve up breakfast within five minutes.
“So what made you decide to make breakfast? We do both have to work today, you know.”
“I know, but neither one of us really ate much last night. And I wanted to do something special for our anniversary.”
“You always do something big. Remember last year when you rented that hot air balloon.”
“How could I forget? That was one of my better ideas.”
Johnny laughed and thought back to the amazing anniversaries they had in the past few years. Darren always went big on their day and made his husband feel really, really special. Johnny always got him a present, but it paled in comparison to Darren’s plan. His husband had always said that it was the most important day in the year, because it was the day that all of his dreams came true.
“Listen, Johnny. I know that things have not been easy between us lately and I am sorry for whatever part I may have played in that. I guess I just want to put that behind us, at least for today. This is the day that I married you and I still say that was the best day of my life. I don’t want to spend the anniversary of that day fighting with you. Can we just agree to put it all aside for one day and revisit all of this later?”
Johnny smiled. “Of course. But if you want to make this day special, then you better have something awesome planned for tonight. A big breakfast with burnt bacon is not going to cut it.”
“Don’t worry, sweetie. I don’t think that that will be an issue. This is just something that I did because I was awake. You will get your real present tonight.”
“Good. You started to worry me there.”
“No fear, babe. I have to top the hot air balloon, remember. But you will have to wait for tonight. In the meantime, you might want to get ready for work.”
“Why what time is it,” Johnny asked as he looked for the clock on the stove display. “Shit, I am going to be so late.” The educator shot up out of his chair and went to run up the stairs.
Darren laughed and followed him. “Johnny. You can slow down, you know. You have a good half an hour before you have to be at work.”
“No, I don’t. I should be there in five minutes!”
“Only because you like to be early to work every day. Take a breath and get ready. I can give you an extra hand in the shower, if you think that will help you get ready faster.”
Johnny smiled and kissed him on the cheek. “You are such a pig. But I love you.”
“So are you going to take me up on my offer?”
“I wish that I could. But I really am late. Maybe tonight we can get clean together. Okay?”
“Well yeah, anniversary sex is supposed to be a given. But I understand and I will do my best to try and restrain myself until this evening. Get ready and I will make you some lunch and get your coffee around.”
“What did I ever do to deserve you?”
“I have no idea, but it must have been really good. Now go, before I lose it and jump you in the shower.”
Johnny laughed and went into the bathroom to take his morning shower. Within fifteen minutes, he was giving Darren a last minute kiss before running out the door.
Darren waited for about five minutes to make sure that Johnny did not forget anything and return to the house, before picking up the phone and dialing his office. He talked to his boss and requested a sick day. Darren had no time to go to work today. He had real work to do.
Johnny was driving back home after a long day at work. There was a part of him that was tempted to take the day off when he had seen what Darren did for him that morning. They needed to do more things like that, romantic gestures for each other to reaffirm their love. But Darren was going to work, so there was no reason for him to stay home. Darren’s present was already bought and wrapped so he could go home and start on their romantic dinner before his husband got home. Maybe this anniversary was just the kick-start they needed in their relationship. Johnny just needed to get over his preoccupation with kids and start dealing with the way his life was, not the way he envisioned it to be in his head.
It was too bad work made that so hard. Every day he encountered a child that made his heart melt. He loved all of the kids at the school, but lately all they did was remind him of the void in his own life. He would just have to make sure that he got to the point where his kids at school were enough for him. He smiled as he remembered the girl that he had helped today. There was an incident on the playground and one of the kindergarteners had gotten knocked over by a wayward kickball. She had scraped up her elbow pretty good when she fell and, being five, she started to bawl her eyes out. Johnny had been on the playground and had immediately run over to help her. He comforted her as he walked her to the nurse. By the time he left her, she was smiling with all memories of the accident gone and his heart had melted into a pile of goo.
Sighing, Johnny pulled his sedan into the driveway and drove carefully into his side of the two-car garage. He really had to stop obsessing over children. He was home now, where he lived with the man of his dreams. The only person he ever really needed. They may have been having problems, but Johnny knew that Darren was going to be his forever. Grabbing his briefcase and his empty thermos, Johnny got out of the car and headed for the side door into the house. On his way, he noticed Darren’s truck parked in its usual spot on the other side of the garage.
That’s weird. He must have left work early, Johnny thought.
Johnny walked to the side door and into the hallway that led to the main part of the house. What he saw in the hallway made him stop dead. The sides of the hardwood floor had been lined in red rose petals, clearly leading him on a path to the living room. Johnny smiled as he kicked off his shoes and put his briefcase and thermos on the side table in the hall. This must have been one of the surprises that Darren had planned for their anniversary. Johnny really was a lucky man, to have someone who cared so much about making him feel special and loved.
Johnny followed the walkway of roses into the living room and found Darren there waiting for him in his best suit. He had always looked so hot in it, fabric perfectly tailored around the arm muscles that held Johnny so close on so many nights. And the way that the pants hugged his ass wasn’t bad either.
Darren stepped up to his husband and presented him with a single red rose. “Happy Anniversary, my love.”
“Darren, this is all so wonderful. You didn’t have to do this for me.”
“Of course, I did. You are so worth this and so much more. And this welcome is just the beginning of what I hope will be a night that you will always remember.”
“Is that just a fancy way of saying that you want to fuck me into the mattress?”
“Is your mind always in the gutter?”
“No more often than yours.” They shared a laugh before Darren spoke again. “I am sure that at some point this evening, I will have my opportunity to do that. And when I get that opportunity, you will be screaming my name in pleasure. But there are more important things before we get to that.”
“Darren, we are men. Is there anything more important to either one of us than getting laid?”
“I guess we will find out,” Darren said, mysteriously.
Taking his hand, Darren led his husband through the living room and up the stairs to their bedroom. “I thought we were not having sex.”
“We are not. Not yet. But you have been in those clothes all day, so I thought that you might want to get changed.”
“Yeah, they are getting kind of grimy.”
Darren gave him a gentle kiss and told him to get changed into something comfortable.
“Aww. Aren’t you going to help me,” Johnny whined.
His husband just gave him a gentle smile. “I would love nothing more. But I am in the process of cooking you a fabulous dinner and if I stay up here then it might start a fire. So for our own safety, I am going to let you get changed all by yourself.” Johnny just nodded and smiled. Darren gave him a quick peck on the mouth before leaving the bedroom to check on the food, leaving Johnny to think, for the millionth time in his marriage, just how lucky he was.
Before Johnny went downstairs, he went into the back of his closet and found the small gold-wrapped box. It wasn’t that much but he hoped that his love would like it. Taking the present, Johnny, now dressed in old jeans and a fading T-shirt, went downstairs. He found Darren, stripped of his jacket and tie, dishing mashed potatoes into a bowl. Johnny was surprised. Darren was not the kind of guy who made mashed potatoes. Looking at the table, Johnny saw that his husband really had gone all out. The table was covered in a soft red tablecloth and white pillar candles were slowly burned away.
“Have a seat,” Darren said as he finished with the potatoes.
“Don’t you need any help?”
“No, I am good. I am just going to go outside and check on the steaks and we should be able to eat really soon.”
“Okay.”Johnny would normally fight to help someone who clearly had a lot going on, but Darren seemed to really want to handle all of this by himself. So Johnny just sat and watched as his husband got the food together and put it on the table.
It really was a lovely dinner. They had steak with mashed potatoes, carrots and biscuits. Darren had even gotten a fabulous bottle of wine that perfectly complimented everything. Johnny was so impressed that Darren had managed to put all of this together, even after he admitted that the mashed potatoes and carrots were not homemade, but ripped out of a store-bought package.
“That was a wonderful meal, Darren,” Johnny said, his plate thoroughly cleaned.
“I am glad that you liked it. Because I really hate cooking and don’t want to do it again for at least another year.”
Johnny laughed. “But, babe, you are just so good at it.”
“Liar. You are a much better cook. I mean you actually make things, you don’t just open boxes and microwave the contents.”
“Yeah, but you did cook the steaks.”
“I barbequed them. There is a big difference.”
“Sure, it is,” Johnny replied, sarcastically. “But, regardless, thank you so much for dinner. It was a wonderful anniversary present.”
“You are most welcome. But that was only part of your gift. You didn’t think that I wouldn’t get you something to open, did you?”
“Let me go and get your gift. Sit tight.”
Johnny waited until Darren had left the room before getting his own present for his husband. He gently set the box on Darren’s place setting and waited. His husband came back only a minute later with a thin package, wrapped in shiny green paper.
“Happy Anniversary, baby.”
“Oh, Johnny. Thank you.”
Darren sat down in his chair and picked up his present, shaking the package with vigor.
“Go ahead. You made me dinner, so it is only fair that you get to open your present first.”
“Okay.” Darren grinned. He had always loved opening presents. Christmas was always an interesting affair, just because of the zealous nature of Darren when it came to gifts.
Johnny watched as his husband ripped the paper, sending tiny gold pieces of paper spiraling to the floor in his zest. He hoped that his husband liked his gift. They had agreed before their first anniversary that they would keep gifts simple, not spending a great deal of money but giving small, personal gifts instead. Darren had started to break that rule after one year with grand gestures, like the hot air balloon, but the gifts they exchanged were always simple.
“Oh, baby,” sighed Darren. Johnny watched as Darren pulled the personalized hockey puck out of the box. On one side was a picture of Darren the day he got drafted to play professional hockey and on the other was the picture from their wedding day.
“I hope you like it. You always said that those two days were the best days of your life and I thought that I would immortalize them as best as I could.”
“It is true that the day I got drafted was one of the greatest days of my life. But never doubt that our wedding day was the best day of my life.”
“I know that. I have never doubted your love for me and the commitment that you made to me.”
Darren leaned across the table, mindful of the lit candles. “Thank you, baby. The puck is wonderful. I promise you I will never play with it.”
Johnny just laughed. “I was never going to make you promise that. I figured it might be good to have something you could slap if we ever got into a really big fight.”
Darren gave his husband a look so serious, it almost startled him. “I hope that we never fight like that. I never want to feel like I need to hit our wedding photo with a stick. I know that we have not been clicking lately, but I promise you that I have never, ever been that mad at you.”
“I know. Enough of this serious talk. Give me my gift.”
“Darren, what’s wrong?”
Darren just closed his eyes, seemingly in fear of what was to come. He took a minute to compose himself before opening his eyes and looking across the table at his love. “Nothing. I guess I just realized how nervous I am about giving you this.”
“Don’t be. I promise I will love whatever you give me. And even if I don’t, you will still get some action tonight.”
Darren let out a light chuckle before responding. “That is not what I am worried about. Here, just open it before I get any more nervous.”
Johnny took the thin package from his husband’s hands. He could not imagine what could have Darren so worked up. He did not even seem this nervous when he proposed. Johnny carefully ripped the green wrapping paper and found a folder underneath. He looked up and asked Darren what he did. In all reality, Johnny had initially thought that he was getting a trip. It was way over the budget that they had for anniversaries, but as Darren had proven last year he did not really care about that. But looking across the table, he saw that his husband looked like he was going to throw up. This was not the face of a man giving his love a trip to the Caribbean or some other exotic location. Johnny thought about comforting him, but decided that it would be easier to finish opening the gift and put his man at ease after the gift was open.
Johnny opened the folder and saw a bunch of papers inside. The heading caught his eye. Application for Adoption of a Child. Johnny’s head snapped up and looked directly at his husband.
“Darren. Are you sure? You know what this would mean.”
“Yeah, I know. And I am not going to say that I am sure, because I am not. But how could I say no to something that you want so much?”
Darren never got the chance to add anything to the thought before his husband was across the table, kissing the life out of him. Darren tried to stop and talk to Johnny, but his husband was insatiable. Darren just gave up when Johnny forced his tongue down his throat. Darren groaned. There was nothing better than Johnny’s kisses, full of passion and life.
“Take me to bed, Darren,” Johnny said huskily.
Darren kissed him quiet and stood up from his chair, dragging Johnny into a crushing embrace, mouths still entangled in a passionate dance. Soon enough, they broke apart gasping for air and Darren took the respite to grab his husband’s hand and drag him up the stairs. As soon as they made it to the bedroom, Darren pushed Johnny down on the bed before climbing on top of him. The two resumed kissing passionately, each needing to feel the other. Johnny started tugging on his love’s shirt, needing to feel more skin. Darren quickly broke the kiss, and sat up giving Johnny the chance to get the shirt off of him. Johnny sat up with Darren stripping his own shirt before holding his husband close, feeling the racing heartbeat beneath his chest and the heavy breaths coming out of his mouth.
Johnny then moved on to his next target, slowly undoing the button of Darren’s dress pants. Together, the two started to strip off the last layers of clothes they had on before falling back onto bed. Darren and Johnny just lay there, kissing each other breathless, touching all over. This was not a harsh fuck; this was love. Pure, unadulterated love.
“Jonathon Nathan Treston, you are the most beautiful man in whole world. I love you so much.”
“I love you too,” Johnny breathlessly replied. “And I would love you even more if you stopped teasing me.”
Darren chuckled. “Getting impatient, are we?”
“For you, always.”
“Good answer,” Darren quipped, getting an evil gleam in his eye. Johnny barely had time to react before Darren leaned down and took his husband’s cock into his mouth in one swipe. Johnny screamed out in surprise and pleasure. His breathing got faster as Darren continued to suck and lick him. They had been together long enough for Darren to know all of his love’s pleasure points and he made sure to hit them all. Darren had always loved blowing his husband and seeing Johnny groan and scream in pleasure was all the reason he needed to continue.
“Darren. Stop,” Johnny said, clearly out of breath. “I don’t want to come yet. Want to come with you inside of me.”
Darren stopped and slowly pulled off of his lover, stretching it out so that Johnny could feel every inch of movement. He moved up and gently on top of his lover so that they were lying face to face. He gently took Johnny’s mouth and kissed him so softly and sweetly that it almost made Johnny forget that his cock was hard and weeping with pre-come. Almost.
“Come on Darren. Fuck me.”
“Patience, my love. This is a special evening for us and I want this to be special.”
“It will be more special when you are fucking me. Come on, you are ready too. I can see it.”
Darren looked down at himself, even though he knew that he too was hard as a rock. “Fine. I will give you what you want, but don’t think that I am going to rush this. This is not fucking, Johnny. This is making love.”
Johnny’s needy exterior faded a little bit. “It always is with you. But I want to feel you now.”
Darren gave him one last kiss, before crawling back down the length of his lover’s body, kissing the soft skin all the way down. He gave one way kiss to the weeping head of Johnny’s cock before spreading his legs and settling between them. He grabbed a nearby pillow and helped Johnny lift his hips so he could slide it underneath him. Darren then reluctantly moved away from his love so that he could grab the lube in the nightstand. They had long disposed of condoms, but lube was always nearby. He popped the top and quickly squirted some on his hands before moving back to his lover and focusing on the pink rosebud.
As gently as he could, Darren pushed one finger inside of his lover, making sure to spread as much lube around as his possibly could. He knew that he could afford to be a little rougher with his lover, given the amount of times they had done this, but something inside of Darren just made him want to be as gentle as possible this evening. He started to search inside his lover for the small spot that would drive his man wild. Darren knew he found it when Johnny screamed his name out. He just chuckled and started to hit his prostate over and over again.
“Darren, stop. I don’t want to come yet. Please.”
Stopping was the last thing that Darren wanted to do, but understanding the request he pulled out, gently placing a kiss on his lover’s thigh to let him know that he was backing off. Instead he added more lube and started working two fingers inside his love’s hole, making sure he was stretched out, trying to avoid his prostate. That would come later.
After making sure that his love was fully prepared, Darren added lube to his cock and gently put himself into position.
“Are you ready, baby?”
Johnny just nodded and Darren slowly started to push into his lover. The feeling of being inside Johnny was something that Darren had always loved. It felt hot and tight, just like it was made for him. Darren watched his husband’s face as he slowly penetrated him. Johnny was so expressive when they had sex, mouth open and eyes closed like his was experiencing the best feeling in the world.
Soon enough, Darren’s cock was fully encased in his love’s hole. Darren gently leaned down and kissed his lover. “Are you ready, Johnny?”
As soon as he got a nod in response, Darren started to pump his cock inside his lover. They had spent so much time on foreplay that Darren did not think that either one of them would last. Johnny was twitching like he was going to blow without being touched and Darren felt himself get closer and closer to the edge. He started furiously bucking inside of his husband, taking Johnny’s cock in hand. It only took a few pumps before Johnny was shooting his load and the tightening of his canal made Darren lose it too.
Darren gently pulled out of Johnny before slumping down next to him on the bed. Both men were struggling to catch their breath after the intense encounter. Once he was a little more composed, Darren grabbed one of the hand towels that they kept in the night stand and gently wiped the come off of his husband’s stomach. Then he grabbed Johnny and pulled him into a hug.
“I love you so much,” Darren whispered fiercely into his love’s ear.
Johnny just looked up at him with adoring eyes. “Darren, I never doubted that for one second. And you know that I love you too.”
“Of course I do. I have known that for years. No matter what problems we face I know that I will always love you. It is funny, but even as we have gone through all of these problems, I always knew that we would still be together. Till death do us part.”
The two lay in silence for a time, merely enjoying the feel of the one that they loved in their arms. It was so peaceful. But even as Johnny soaked up the love and warmth of his love’s embrace, a pestering thought kept his mind active.
“Babe, can I ask you something?”
“Of course, you can ask me anything at anytime. You know that.”
Johnny nodded as he broke the embrace, sitting up and staring into his husband’s soulful eyes. “The adoption papers. Why? You said that you never wanted kids.”
“I know what I said, but you wanted it so much. You said that you were willing to give up the one dream that you have had your whole life so that I would be happy. What kind of husband would I be if I didn’t make the same sacrifice?”
“So you got the application to make me happy,” Johnny clarified as his head sunk down to his chest.
“Of course,” Darren replied. “Why do you suddenly look like I kicked your dog or something? I did this to make you happy. You were happy. What did I do?”
Johnny shook his head, willing the tears brimming in his eyes not to fall. “Nothing. You did everything right. And I love you all the more for it. But nothing has changed. So we really shouldn’t go through with this.”
“What?! I said that we could have the child that you always wanted. Maybe even more than one and now you are shunning it. Why?”
“Because you still don’t want kids. It does not matter how much I want them. If you don’t want kids, then that resentment will show and the kids will feel it. I would rather go childless for the rest of my life than to have any child, let alone a child under my care, feel like they are unwanted.”
Darren stared at his husband, struggling to process what he had just been told. Getting up from the bed, Darren paced, trying to put into words what he had found out just hours ago.
“Johnny, last night, I saw you in the guest bedroom and I remembered what you said about wanting to turn it into a child’s bedroom. I saw how badly you wanted this. That was why I did all of this…”
“I know. And I love you for it.”
“Please, honey, just let me finish.” Darren waited for a silent nod before continuing. “I decided last night that I needed to do this. This is the only way that we could get past it all, the silence, the fights. All of it has been the result of me not being able to give you what you need. So I called off work and spent the day tracking down all of the forms and getting information. All of that took me to the Social Work office downtown. And when I was there I saw a few kids. They seemed so lost and confused and I just wanted to help them. The social worker that I talked to said that they needed more people like me, like us, because they have so many kids that need help. And long story short, through the course of it all, I changed my mind. I realized that while I might be scared out of my mind and totally clueless about children, I want to do this with you. It may have started out as a present for you, but now this is something that I really want to do. And I promise you that if I can love another even a tenth of what I love you, then no child in our house will ever feel unwanted or unloved.”
“Darren, are you sure? This is not like a dog that you can take back, if it doesn’t work out. This is forever.”
“I know. And I would be lying if I said that I was a hundred percent sure about this, but together we can do this. We can do anything as long as we are together. Please.”
“Yes,” Johnny laughed, the tears he had been holding back starting to fall. “A million times, yes. This is all I have ever wanted: a family with you.”
“We already are a family. We are just expanding it.”
“Thank you, Darren, for giving me everything I have ever wanted. Not just today, but always.”
“Ditto.” The two shared a laugh, as Darren climbed back into bed and gathering Johnny back into his arms. “You know that you are going to have teach me about this kid stuff.”
“I think I can do that,” Johnny responded as he leaned up to gently kiss his husband. “You are going to be a great father, you know.”
Darren laughed. “Babe, I know nothing about kids. What makes you think I would be good at raising one?”
“Because all kids really need, at the core of it, is lots of love. And I know that you can love, because you love me every day.”
“And I always will.” Darren gently kissed his husband, all lingering fears melting away. They would make this work. As long as they had love, anything was possible.